Friday, August 31, 2007

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. (I'm Such an Idiot) Ouch. Ouch.

We received advance notice that the ice cream truck would be going through our neighborhood this afternoon. Destructo had never seen an ice cream truck, so we explained the whole thing to him.

You'll hear the music from the truck, and we'll go outside and get some ice cream from the truck! It'll be fun!

He was stoked.

So, afternoon came and we waited. After what must have been a lifetime for a 3 y/o, we finally heard the music.

Destructo rushed to the door and looked out the window just in time to see the ice cream truck blow by our house at about 40 m.p.h.

Damn.


So, being the good mom that I am, I grabbed Destructo's hand and we flew out the back door to catch the truck on the street behind our house.

Mom...what about our shoes?

We don't need shoes. It'll be real quick.


It's August. We're in Hawaii. It's about 90 degrees outside. Only an idiot would go barefoot on a day like this.


We raced across the hot sidewalk and arrived at the street behind our house just in time to see the ice cream truck NOT turn down the street. There was only one other way out of our neighborhood - one street over. Because the only houses on that street were at the opposite end, we had to sprint to the other end to catch the truck before it headed down the hill.

We made it. Destructo got his ice cream, and we got a second one for the Wildcard who was hard at work on a homework project.

By then my feet were burning and Destructo was crying because his feet hurt too.

Once again, I was the good mom and decided to let him climb on my back for a piggy-back ride home. And using more poor judgement, I opened his ice cream for him.

Yes, I truly am an idiot.

By the time we made it home, my feet were on fire and my hair was full of melted ice cream. The Wildcard's ice cream had turned to a package of mush in my hand.

Damn ice cream truck.

Damn blisters.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Lunar Eclipse

Some of you have already seen these....feel free to ignore me!!

We had perfect weather for viewing the eclipse last night. There were a few clouds, but they quickly blew over and left clear skies.

The first few are of the shadow starting to cover the moon.

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After the moon was covered, it turned an amazing reddish-orange color.

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This was at the peak of the eclipse.

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And then the shadow started moving away.

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This was my last one, at 2 a.m.

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Monday, August 27, 2007

The End of an Era

The MomVan is history.

It's been replaced with something sporty, shiny, and new. Something with a Bose sound system, electronic everything, leather interior, and a moonroof. Something the salesperson described as "a very tricked-out ride".

In other words, it is the Anti-MomVan.

(The salesperson actually stifled a snicker when we inquired about the trade-in value of the MomVan.)

When we bought the MomVan, we had three kids under the age of twelve and it was a very sensible choice. Every sweaty, stinky kid in our vicinity hitched a ride in the MomVan at one time or another. We put 101,000 miles on it just driving to soccer games, school events, family vacations, and numerous roadtrips. The MomVan has been to the Grand Canyon, Vegas, Yellowstone, New Orleans, Mt. Rushmore, and the Rocky Mountains. The interior has been subjected to cracker crumbs, spilled milkshakes, vomit, sweaty kids, and tons of ground-in sand. Other than one near-breakdown on I-35 north of Oklahoma City, it's been problem-free transportation.


Now that we have two teenaged drivers, a pre-teen, and a toddler a MomVan is overkill.


Thus the Tricked-Out Ride.


The Wildcard loves the heated seats and the moonroof.

The Diva is negotiating a trade between her sound system and mine.

The Blonde One wished we had bought it a week ago so that when he was grounded from his vehicle, I could be dropping him off at school in the Tricked-Out Ride rather than the MomVan.

Destructo ate cookies in the car and climbed all over the seats with his sandy feet. (Maybe we're not quite ready to say goodbye to the MomVan yet..... )



Saturday, August 25, 2007

Home Sweet Home

We've been doing some serious house-hunting here in Hawaii since I returned from Michigan. We plan to retire here and the market is slow, so we see it as a great opportunity to buy.

Unfortunately, house-hunting in Hawaii is a bizarre experience. (Or perhaps it's fortunate that it is such a bizarre experience....you know, for blog purposes.)

In Hawaii, houses are sold more through Sunday Open Houses than through realtor showings. When we bought our house in Florida, we did a ton of research on the internet, secured a realtor, flew in for three days, looked at 23 houses, made an offer, left town, and closed by the end of the month.

Not so here.

Sunday afternoons are spent trolling the neighborhoods of choice and looking for "Open House" signs. We're fortunate because we have housing and can wait for "our home" without the worry about selling, contingencies, and coordinating closing dates.

The down side is that you never know what you are walking into when you see that "Open House" sign.

Like the 3 bedroom/2.5 bath house for a mere $1.35 million (down from $1.5 million!!). It had gorgeous tile but a teeny, tiny pool in a barren back yard. Oh, and the .5 bath? It was a toilet in the garage surrounded by a shower curtain.

Or the $999,999 bargain. It had 4 bedrooms and 3 full bathrooms (all inside the house, by the way). However, EVERY room needed some work. For example, one bathroom had bold red Chinese-inspired wallpaper with gold streaks, a contemporary sink, a toilet with a wooden toilet seat, a jetted pink tub, and black carpet.

The most bizarre part was the "dining room". Apparently the house used to have a deck out back, but the owners decided to enclose it to make more living space.

They built the entire addition around the deck.

That's right. You step down from the kitchen onto the wooden deck, and you are still inside the house. You can stand at the deck rails and enjoy the view of....the dining room walls two feet away. It was too bizarre.

Then there are the houses where you have to walk through the garage to get to the bedroom, or the ones with a toilet in the closet (an extra half bath!!!), and the 'handyman's special' where the floors on one side of the room were 8" lower than on the opposite side.

This ain't the Mainland.

Last weekend the Diva and I found our future home.

The Diva was especially intrigued by the Pool House/Studio Cottage.

It was perfect, other than the fact that when we walked through to take a look, there was an old man relieving himself with the bathroom door wide open. (I hope he doesn't come with the house.)

Now we just have to wait for a half-price sale.

(sigh)

Monday, August 20, 2007

How To NOT Be Your Child's Best Friend

Hello. You have reached the Blonde One's phone, but he can't take your call right now. This is his mom and I will be screening his calls for him. Feel free to leave a message or text him, and I will decide if the information is worth passing along.

If you are calling to see if he wants to ditch class or cruise, the answer is no.

If you are a 22 y/o female asking if he knows any single Marines between the ages of 18-30 who would like to go drinking and party, the answer is no.

If you are that same 22 y/o female and are sending suggestive text messages and photos, you need to be reminded that the he is only 16 y/o, he never empties his inbox, and text messages make great evidence. Oh, and his Daddy is a lawyer.

By the way, he no longer has his car keys or computer access either. If you would like to contact him, feel free to call him at our home number. I would love to talk with you.


Have a nice day.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Vacation Fun

We're back.

In addition to being exhausted from the trip, we've been dealing with jet lag and a nasty case of the crud. The trip was great, and Destructo had a blast. He has 25 cousins in Michigan, so he was rarely without a playmate. (Unfortunately, he also got used to having my undivided attention and has been clingy and demanding since we have been back, but that's another story....)

Here's my vacation wrapup:

Pre-Flight Fun

Destructo: Are we going on the airplane today?

Me: Yes, later this afternoon. We have to pack first.

Destructo: Let's go now. I'll get the suitcase.

Me: Our plane isn't here yet.

Destructo: Is it here now?

Me: Not until this afternoon.

Destructo: Can we leave now?

Me: No, it's not time yet. The plane isn't ready.

Destructo: Is it ready now?

(You get the point. It was a long day.)


Fun with the Crazy Aunts

So we have a couple of crazy aunts. We've always enjoyed confusing them at family functions, and if you knew the family history you would totally understand.

Crazy Aunt #1 proved to be no fun at the Big Party (my parents' 50th anniversary) , so there will be no blogging about her.

Crazy Aunt #2 arrived at the Big Party an hour early.

Several of my siblings and I were putting final touches on the decorations and making sure the food was good to go and just BSing about any/everything when I decided to step outside to move my car so the close parking spaces would be open for those who may need them.

Crazy Aunt #2 was standing outside the door listening.

She startled me, and I made sure she knew it. I checked my watch, and acted surprised that she was there at 1:00, when the invitation specifically said 2:00.

As expected, I got the usual "Which one are you?"

There are eight of "us". Seven of us have dark hair, six of us have brown eyes, and five of us are male. This seems to confuse all the relatives on that side of the family, as we are always greeted with "Which one are you?"

I told her which one I was, and she looked confused.

"Are you the one who lives in Ha-why-ee? Did I say that right? Aren't you afraid of the natives over there?"

She made it too easy to mess with her.

The following day we had a special service at church for my parents. The aunts and uncles were invited. After the service, I was talking with my youngest sister when Crazy Aunt #2 approached.

My sister's little girl was standing with us. She is a gorgeous 4 y/o with big brown eyes and beautiful blonde curls.

Crazy Aunt #2 looked at her and said, "My dad had a little girl who looked just like you. She died when she was five."

Not only was this creepy, but it was absolutely not true. This is why we mess with the Crazy Aunts.

Fun on the Farm

I grew up on a farm. My kids grew up all over the world, always near an ocean but never near a farm. This was Destructo's first experience on the farm.

On our first day there, we were sitting in the back yard, when Destructo saw this:

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His eyes grew huge, and he jumped out of his seat.

"Look, Mom!! It's 101 Dalmatian Cows!!!"

This was only the beginning.

The next day he watched his uncle milk the cows. He stood at a safe distance, with a curious look on his face.

Finally, he turned to me and said, "The cows are getting gas, right?"

(If you've never been around a farm, you won't get that one.)


Fun with Photography

I took nearly 400 pictures during the week, most of them are of family and won't be posted for privacy reasons.

I do like this one of the sunset behind the corn field:

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And this one of my 2 y/o niece getting down and dirty in her pretty pink dress:

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And now, back to reality.

(Sigh.)