Friday, September 29, 2006

Lions and Tigers and......


I've been meaning to make a trip to the zoo with Destructo. He has never been to the zoo, and lately has been fascinated with pictures of animals. Like any 2 y/o, he likes to point them all out by name, imitate them, and make the appropriate animal noise for each. I often wonder if he realizes that they are more than just pictures in a book, that they are real, live things...just like StupidDog.

The kids are on Fall Break next week, and last night I was making some plans for the week. This, of course, included a trip to the zoo with the Wildcard and Destructo.

I asked Destructo if he wanted to go to the zoo to see the animals, and he was definitely interested.

Me: Do you want to go see the lions?

Destructo: Yeah...the lions! They say "Raaaaahhhrrrr!!!"

Me: What about the monkeys? Should we see the monkeys?

Destructo (getting really excited now): Yeah!! Monkeys!! Monkeys are silly!

Me: And the elephants? Do you want to see elephants?

Destructo: Elephants! I want to see elephants!

Me: Then let's go to the zoo!!

Destructo: Yeah! The zoo! We can see the snowman too!

Me: Huh?? The snowman?

Destructo: Yeah. The snowman at the zoo.

Me: Is there a snowman at the zoo?

Destructo: There's a snowman. He shibbers and says says "Brrrr......."

Time to get that boy to the zoo.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Trick or Treat?

Hey Hon? Where did you hide the Halloween candy? Because I'm not going to be able to stop eating the cheesecake and ice cream until you tell me!

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Man Moods

I sincerely believe that men have their monthly cycles, just like women.

I swear for the past few days the Blonde One, the Wildcard, and Destructo have all been suffering from Pre-Manstrual Syndrom. To make matters worse, the Hubster seems to be in the midst of Manopause. It's the only explanation I can come up with for their odd behavior and mood swings.

I really need to buy them all mood rings, just so I'll have an early warning device.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

The Standoff Has Ended!

It took 40 days, but Destructo has his toy back.

It wasn't as simple as it should have been.

At 29 days....

The Hubster comes to me at 10:00 p.m.:

Hubster: Are you going to be up for a while? Could you proofread a paper for me? It's only five pages....

(Eveyone knows that the time after everyone goes to bed is "ME" time, so this is a huge request...)

Me: Ummmm....okay. I'll do it if you fix Destructo's lawn mower and get it off my kitchen counter.

Hubster: Huh? Oh, the lawn mower? Okay....

The Hubster spends thirty minutes tinkering with the lawn mower, trying to get the bubble-blower feature to work correctly. No luck. He goes to bed, but I've already finished proofreading his paper. The lawn mower is moved to a new location on the kitchen counter.

At 34 days:

The Blonde One is going out to cut the grass. Destructo wants to help.

Blonde One: Dad? Can you fix his lawn mower? He wants to help me.

Hubster: Let me look at it again....

Another thirty minutes passes, with no progress. Unless you count the addition of three tools to the ever-growing pile on my kitchen counter.

At 40 days:

Destructo: I want my 'awn nower'.

Me (to the Hubster): He wants his lawn mower.

Destructo: Daddy fix it?

Me: Daddy will fix it. Daddy can fix anything!

Destructo: Yeah. Daddy will fix it!!

(Why didn't I try that 40 days ago?)

Monday, September 18, 2006

I'm No Food Whore....

But a little incident this weekend made me giggle and think of her.

The Hubster and I had gone to our favorite restaurant for dinner. It's one of those little hole-in-the-wall places with the walk-up counter where you place your order, then you choose a table from their mis-matched decor and wait for the most incredibly fabulous meal you can imagine.

Everything is made fresh, and brought out to your table by the owner himself. Sometimes he'll sit and chat for a while if it's not busy, and he always checks back with you to make sure everything is up to expectations. He's a very friendly, soft-spoken man who has lived all over the world and has a somewhat heavy accent, but I can't really pinpoint the accent.....probably a mish-mash of all the different places he has been.

Anyway, we had placed our order and were sitting enjoying the appetizer, when a couple came in. They were obviously tourists and had never been to the restaurant before. They spent a good ten minutes reading the one-page menu and discussing their options. Finally they made their decisions, and Tourist Lady stepped up to the counter to order.

The owner took their order and informed them that it would be about fifteen minutes before it was ready.

Tourist Lady seemed shocked by this. She said they were in a hurry and fifteen minutes was a really long time to wait. (This, after they had just spent ten minutes trying to decide what to order.)

The owner explained that everything was made fresh after the order was placed, and that fifteen minutes was really not that long.

Tourist Lady got all snooty, told him to never mind, then turned to walk away.

The quiet, mild-mannered owner with the funky accent yelled to her, "If you want a fuckin' Jack-in-theBox, it's one block over!!"

The Hubster and I would have laughed out loud if we hadn't been in such a feeding frenzy over our baba ganoush.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Bright Friday

Normally I don't do two PhotoFridays back-to-back, but normally I am not as organized and on the ball as I am today.

Okay, that's a lie. I'm not organized and on the ball.

I got lucky and happened to snap a great picture for this week's "Bright" theme.

Tonight after I dropped the Blonde One off at soccer practice, I had 90 minutes to waste with Destructo tagging along. The sky had been looking all funky most of the day, so I had my camera and a plan.

My plan was to head to a tiny strip of beach and take a few pictures of the Mokulua Islands, locally known as "The Mokes". I love photographing the Mokes because no two pictures ever turn out the same - they vary depending on the weather, the time of day, and the mood. I was hoping the funky clouds would make a good background for the islands.

When we got to the beach, it didn't look good. The sky was very grey, which washed out all the color in the water. There were spots of sun peeking through the clouds, so I waited and hoped for an opening. Then it started to drizzle......and Destructo was getting bored.....after a few minutes we decided to leave. As we were walking away, I took one look back at the Mokes and saw

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Boy Friday

This week's topic was "Boy". Since I'm currently the lone female in the house (even StupidDog is a male), it wasn't too difficult to find a "Boy" picture.

I took this one a couple of weeks ago, after dropping the Blonde One off at school in the morning. I was measuring the distance of the previous night's run and we drove past the beach. Destructo, who had been unusually quiet in the back seat, suddenly piped up, "Go to the beach! Go to the beach....go to the beach...gotothebeach...gotothebeachgotothebeach...."

So, we stopped at the beach. I was determined to make it a quick trip that wouldn't need to be followed by a shower and complete change of clothes.......he had other ideas.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Welcome To the Jungle

The Blonde One is a referee for youth soccer games, so our Saturday mornings include driving to some randomly assigned soccer field and waiting while he refs one or two games. Destructo usually tags along, and I entertain him with whatever is available - playgrounds, soccer fields, holes in the ground, etc.

Today was no different. It was a new (to us) field with very limited distractions for a 2 y/o. We played in the dirt and rolled the soccer ball down the hill way too many times, when I finally gave in.

Me: Hey bubby, do you want to go get a Slurpee?

Destructo: (contemplating) A Slippery? Yeah. Let's get a Slippery.

So, we headed off to the 7-11 for a 'Slippery'.

On the way, I noticed some side roads that appeared to head up towards the mountains. Since they were new to me and I had never driven them before, curiosity got the best of me. We got the Slippery, they headed off on a mini road trip to explore the back roads.

We drove for several miles down narrow, winding roads. Destructo sat quietly in the back seat of the MomVan sipping his Orange Creme Slippery, while I took in the scenery.

The road was narrow but smoothly paved, so I knew it had to be a 'main' road. We drove past lush, green, tropical landscape, with the occasional view of the mountains to the left. In some places the trees grew all the way across the road, and vines hung low over the MomVan. It was gorgeous, and a very relaxing drive.

At one point I came across four people out riding horses. Destructo had never seen a real horse before, so I pointed them out to him.

Me: Bubby, look at the horsies!!

Destructo (straining to see out the front window): I see them!

Me: Look, there are one....two....three....four horsies!

Destructo: Yeah.

Me: Do you see one white one? And two brown ones? And one brown and white one?

Destructo: Yeah.

So we drove past the horsies and continued on.

Me: I like the horsies. Do you like the horsies?

Destructo: Yeah. (Pause....) They were zebras.

Me: They look like zebras, don't they? But zebras have stripes, and they don't live in Hawaii.

Destructo: They were zebras. I like them.

A few minutes later, we ended up behind an old pickup truck with a large golden retriever in the back bed.

Me: Look at the doggie!

Destructo: I see him! He's waving at me!! (Wagging his tail.)

Me: Silly puppy!!

Destructo: He's a lion.

Me: Is he?

Destructo: He's a lion, and he says "raaaaaahhhhrrr!!".

Me: Okay.

And we continued on, until I spotted..............

Me: Hey, Bubby!! Do you see the chickens? Look out your window!

Destructo: Yeah. I see them. (Pause...........) They're monkeys.

Me: Monkeys?

Destructo: Yeah, they are monkeys. They climb trees.

Me: You're right - monkeys do climb trees.............

Destructo: Yeah, the monkeys climb trees. (Long pause.............) The monkeys climb trees, then they go poopy on the rainbows.

Me: Bubby? Can Mommy have a sip of your Slippery? I really need to know what Mr. 7-11 Man put in it...........

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Birthday Time!!

My little beach bum

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is a legal adult today.

Happy Birthday, Diva!!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Zero Tolerance

Maybe I'm just getting old, but I find myself having very little tolerance for stupidity, whining, and petty bickering.

And I'm not talking about kids either.

I'm beginning to think that the majority of men in the military are married to incompetent losers. The rest (of course) are married to brilliant, strong, well-adjusted women who make the most of whatever is sent their way - I count some of these women as my favorite people to hang with.

Unfortunately, the whiners have been making me crazy lately.

For example, let's look at the Wildcard's base soccer team.

The military bases have a summer soccer league where each base puts together teams and they play teams from other military bases on the island. It's usually a fun season, and it's always nice to go play at the other bases. Not so this year.

The moms complained about having to travel "all the way across the island" to play the teams on other bases. Keep in mind that "all the way across the island" is a 20 minute drive....maybe 40 minutes to the bases in the middle of the island. was decided that we would only play the teams from our own base, which means playing the same three teams over and over and over again.

Then, if that wasn't enough, they whined about it being too the games were all switched to 8 a.m. on Saturday. Then they whined about it being too early.....and the fact that one of the soccer fields is on the water and just too windy.

Shut up already.

At this Saturday's 8 a.m. game at the windy field, the lazy-ass, loud-mouth mom seated next to me was complaining how much she hates Hawaii. She said there's nothing to do and it's too expensive and "the natives scare me".

Shut up.

I know not everyone likes it here....I can totally understand that. It is a different lifestyle than the Mainland. However, when you refuse to explore anything off base, even on different military bases on the same island, you really have no right to complain about the military taking you out of Podunk, Wyoming and sending you to a tropical Pacific island. Instead of whining and complaining, get off your ass and see what this island is all about!!!

That's my vent of the day.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Standoff, Week Three

Do you remember the "Everybody Loves Raymond" episode about
the suitcase? The one where Ray and Debra each think the other should put the suitcase away, so it sits there for weeks?

We have our own standoff going here, but I don't think the Hubster realizes it yet.

Three weeks ago today, the Hubster took Destructo's lawn mower apart because the bubble blower wasn't working very well. The bubbles weren't an issue with Destructo, he just likes pushing his lawn mower around, especially when the Blonde One is mowing the lawn.

So, the Hubster got his tools from the garage and disassembled the lawn mower in the driveway. He found the problem, but wasn't able to fix it because there was a broken piece inside.

Soooooo........what would be the next logical step? Perhaps re-assemble it and let Destructo have his toy back? Put it in the garage and try to track down a replacement piece? Or maybe bring it inside the house and put it on the kitchen counter and completely forget about it?

Yep. It's been sitting on the kitchen counter for three weeks.

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You would think at some point he would see it there and think, "You know, I really should fix that thing."

But no, it just sits there.

He hates to put things in the garage because he "doesn't like clutter". Yet, clutter on the kitchen countertop is totally acceptable.

Any bets on how long it'll be there? Or which of us will cave first?