Monday, July 31, 2006

The Guy

The Blonde One has a best friend and if I didn't know better, I would think they were separated at birth. They are both in the same classes at school, they both played the same instrument in band (until they both dropped this year because the teacher is an ass), they both play soccer, surf, and skate. Both are tall, thin, with curly hair and braces.

And.....they both have the same name.

The Blonde One's friend spent most of the summer at our house, which was confusing to Destructo. He didn't get the whole same name thing. He thought we were trying to trick him when we called the friend by the Blonde One's name.

So, Destructo started referring to the friend as "The Guy".

Anyway, the similarities are becoming more eerie every day.

Like today. The Blonde One and The Guy were going to do some body surfing, so I drove out to pick up The Guy at his house. As I was driving to our house, this what I heard in the back of the MomVan:

The Guy: Dude, did your sister leave for college yet?

Blonde One: Ummmm.......(scratching his chin here).....I'm not sure. I haven't seen her in a couple of days......Mom?

I gave him a "You Can't Be Serious" look, but the conversation continued.

The Guy: Yeah, my brother is supposed to leave some time soon.

Me: Where's he going to college?

The Guy: I don't know. I don't think he ever told me.

Friday, July 28, 2006

End of Summer (sigh)

Even though summer doesn't officially end for two more months, it's over for us. The Wildcard went back to school on Friday and the Blonde One goes back on Tuesday.

Back to the old routine.

We always end the summer with a Last Blast - this year it was a day at
Hawaiian Waters Adventure Park, Hawaii's version of Wet 'n Wild. We've always done some sort of Last Blast and it's something the kids always enjoyed and looked forward to each summer.

And then they grew up. ((sigh))

The Diva immediately played the "college student" card and opted out of mandatory family fun.

The Blonde One said he'd go, but probably wouldn't enjoy it.

The Wildcard, sensing that his brother would be no fun, asked if he could invite a friend.

The friend was invited, snacks were packed, and we all piled into the MomVan for our Mandatory Fun Day.

As soon as we got in the MomVan, the Hubster asked what I brought for snacks. I told him fruit, cheese, crackers, go-gurt, and sodas. He laughed, thinking I was joking. I wasn't, so he made a beeline for the store where he purchased Oreos, Pringles, and a big-ass bag of M&M's.

Now we were ready to go.

Destructo had a great time - he played in the Urine Pool (aka the kiddie area) for hours. There were slides, fountains, and best of all, leaves that had fallen from the trees.

The Wildcard and his friend disappeared before I could say "sunscreen!". They ended the day sunburned, with blisters on their feet from the hot sidewalks, and totally exhausted.

The Blonde One wanted to lounge on a beach chair and take a nap. I didn't buy a $25 ticket for nap time, so I dragged him off to do some water slides with me. He eventually came out of his teenager funk and actually enjoyed himself.

We ended the day by stopping at Wendy's, which is a real treat since there are only three on the entire island and none are near us.

And now we have to get back to the school routine.....


Tuesday, July 25, 2006

That's Nice.....Now Let Mommy Sleep

Destructo: Hey Mom! I dud it.

Me: HHHmmmmm....

I pried one eye open and tried to orient myself. The sun was just beginning to rise and I was in Destructo's bed, facing the wall.

The sleep strike.....that's what it was. Destructo hasn't been sleeping well, so I had gone in to lie down with him in the middle of the night. Now it was morning and I really wasn't sure if I had been to sleep at all last night.

Destructo: Mom, I dud it again.

Me: Huh? You did? Good boy.

I had no idea what he 'dud', or even what 'dud' meant. I just wanted a few more minutes of sleep.

Destructo: I dud some more?

Me: Sure. Okay.

A few seconds later....

Destructo: Now I dud Mommy's. Okay?

Me: Ummmmm....okay.

Destructo reached over and pulled a chunk of hair that had been covering my face. This seemed to be the right time to open my eyes. There was Destructo on the bed next to me, a section of my hair in one of his little hands and a pair of scissors in the other.

Destructo: I dud Mommy's now!!!

(His bed was covered in little blonde curls that he had already cut from his own hair - with my encouragement. Time for a big-boy haircut.....)

Monday, July 24, 2006

This Is What It Has Come To.....

I remember when I had a real job where I could go to a nice air-conditioned office every day and could do things like make personal phone calls, surf the internet, pay my bills, and paint my nails without interruption.

I miss that.

Today I painted my toenails while Destructo watched with an inquisitive look on his face. As soon as I finished, he said, "Touch it?"

I told him he couldn't touch it because it was wet and sticky.

This made him even more determined to touch it. "Touch it! I want touch it!!"

So I backed away from him. He followed, and had me trapped in a corner where I did the Wet Toenail Dance while he crouched at my feet trying to "Touch it!"

I ran out of the room, followed by a two y/o on a mission. Every time I was still, he tried to touch my toenails, so I ran. Down the hallway, through the dining room, into the kitchen. Soon I found myself sitting in the middle of our kitchen island, just because that was the only place he couldn't reach me.

How pathetic is that?

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Aunt Flo's Infamous Taco Dip

This morning as the Hubster and I walked in the door after the Blonde One's soccer game, we were greeted by the Wildcard bearing a handwritten note. A neighbor had stopped by while we were gone and invited us to a little function this evening. We were to bring pupus (appetizers) and lawn chairs.

My first question was directed at the Wildcard:

Me: Did you giggle when she said "pupu"?

Wildcard: I tried really hard not to............

My next question, to the Hubster:

Me: What should we take?

Hubster: What about your taco dip? Everyone raved about it when you made it for the office Christmas party.

I shot him "The Look", but I don't think he got it.

You know how every family has that one person who is always at family functions, but isn't officially a family member? In the Hubster's family, it is Aunt Flo.

(Yeah, I said "Aunt Flo".)

Aunt Flo is the Hubster's sister's mother-in-law, and her name is Florence. Several years ago, it was decided that it wasn't appropriate for the children to call her "Florence", so someone (most likely a male family member) declared that from that day forward, she would be known as "Aunt Flo".


Aunt Flo is at all the family functions, and always brings the same dish: Taco Dip.

Being a military family, we miss out on most family functions, so we never knew about Aunt Flo's Infamous Taco Dip......until we spent that year in Florida and were expected to attend nearly every family event that came along.

Our first event was a birthday party on the beach. On the drive there, the Hubster's father said, "I wonder if Aunt Flo will bring her taco dip."

Everyone laughed and assumed she would.

And she did.

And she pushed it on us...."You've got to try this! Everyone loves it! I bring it to all the family functions because everyone just raves about it!!! Try it!! NOW, Damnit!!"

(Okay, she really didn't say 'NOW, Damnit!!!' but you get the idea.)

Everyone was mingling, and filling their plates with appetizers.....especially Aunt Flo's Infamous Taco Dip. And everyone raved about the taco dip.

So I dug in.

It was some of the nastiest stuff I ever tasted. I assumed I was missing something........after all everyone was raving about it. I managed to finish every bit on my plate before Aunt Flo approached, asking how I liked the taco dip.

I lied. I told her it was very, very good. And asked what her secret was.

After she wandered off, the Hubster's sister approched me.

SIL: You didn't really eat that, did you?

Me: Ummmmm.......yeah?

SIL: Didn't anyone warn you? That's some nasty shit!

MIL joins the conversation: The taco dip? You ate it?

Me: You all raved about I tried it.

FIL approaches: The secret is to load up your plate, then when she's not looking you need to wipe it all off in a napkin. And throw it in the trash. That way she thinks you ate it. Then, of course, you tell her how great it is.

Thus, "The Look" today when the Hubster said everyone raved about my taco dip.

So, I made the taco dip for the function tonight. And everyone raved about it.

I'm not really sure what that means though.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Remarkable Friday

What is
Remarkable about this week's Photo Friday picture?

The fact that I was up before 4 a.m. on a Sunday morning and downtown before sunrise.

But I got a lot of cool pictures that morning, so it was worth it.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Clarification for Destructo

Standing naked on your little stool in front of the toilet and saying, "Psssssssssssssssssssss............." is NOT the same as actually going potty.

Elmo stickers will not be awarded for such behavior.

End of discussion.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Another "Lucky We Live Hawaii"

Have I mentioned that I hate shopping?


Well, I hate shopping.

Today was the much dreaded Back-To-School shopping day with the boys. I've been putting it off for a while now, but school starts in less than two today was the day.

Fortunately, the boys don't enjoy shopping either, and they just wanted to be done with it. Both were very methodical and organized - they had taken inventory, checked their sizes, and both wanted Billabong, Quicksilver, and other surf brands. It was board shorts and t-shirts for the Blonde One and gym shorts and t-shirts for the Wildcard.

The Navy Exchange has a decent selection of surf brands, so we went there first. We made a quick round of the Men's Department for the Blonde One, they each grabbed a pair of slippers (flip flops) as we passed the shoe department, and then headed upstairs for a quick sweep of the Boy's Department for the Wildcard. On the way to the registers, we grabbed random school supplies, a new stroller for Destructo, and a handful of Yankee Candle tarts.


Total time elapsed? 2.5 hours, including driving time and lunch at Wendy's on the way home.

I love shopping with boys.

(And I love not having to buy jeans, sweaters, jackets, socks.................)

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Misplaced Wrath

I grew up in a house full of males and am now living with three boys of my own (four counting the Hubster). The one single trait they all possess is the ability to misplace things. I don't know what it is, but it's got to be a male thing.

Car keys. Cell phones. Homework. Sneakers. Wedding rings (yeah, that went over well).

The funny thing? They can spend half an hour tearing the house apart looking for their misplaced item, and when they finally ask for help I usually find it within two minutes. (The exception being the wedding ring, of course....)

Anyway, the Blonde One has been reading The Grapes of Wrath this summer. Not for fun, it's part of his summer homework for his AP Lit class. The assignment involves reading the book and keeping a journal of the literary elements he notes along the way.

He has not been thrilled with the book. ("Mom, it's all about dust. Dust everywhere. Dust in the house, dust in the car, dust in the air. Dust, dust, dust. Who writes a book about dust??")

He did all the homework for his other AP classes, saving this for last because he dreaded it so much. However, he very dutifully kept his journal, and is pacing himself to finish the book within one week. I have actually been very impressed with his progress all summer.

So, today I came home from running a few errands and found the Blonde One in a frenzy. He had lost his Grapes of Wrath journal. He had torn the house apart and couldn't find it anywhere. He even rummaged through the trash, knowing that Destructo likes to throw things away just to see the lid on the trash can swing back and forth.

Me: Where did you last see it?

Blonde One: I put it on the washer last night.

(His bedroom is just off the laundry room, so he has a habit of putting things on the washer when he just can't make those last three steps to his room....)

Me: I saw it on the washer this morning when I left.

Him: I looked there. The only thing on the washer is a beach towel. If I don't find it, I'm not doing it over!! I'll drop the class before I re-do ALL THAT WORK!!!!

I walked back to the laundry room and lifted the beach towel.

There, of course, was his journal.


Thursday, July 13, 2006

Playground Fun

Tonight the Hubster had to pick up a book at the Hickam library, so we decided to make it an event rather than just a trip to the library. (We really DO lead such interesting lives......)

We packed up the Wildcard and Destructo, and planned to let them loose at the playground then follow up with milkshakes at Burger King for the drive home. The Blonde One was at a friend's house and the Diva was painting her toenails, or else I'm sure they both would have jumped at the opportunity to tag along.

Anyway, Destructo is pretty shy around other kids. He's okay with older kids, but pre-schoolers just freak him out. Whenever he comes across a kid near his own age, he stops what he is doing, does that funky, quizzical thing with his eyebrows, and studies them as if they were an exhibit in a zoo.

So, the playground.

The Wildcard and Destructo were playing a game where they chased each other up the ramp, across the bridge, and down the slide. All was going well until a little boy suddenly ran over to the slide and crouched on the sand at the bottom of the slide.

Destructo went down the slide and Little Boy jumped at him, yelling, "RRrrrarraaarrrgh!!"

Okay.....he got the quizzical eyebrow look, then Destructo ran off to play.

A few minutes later, Little Boy ran across the sand toward Destructo, again yelling, 'Rrraraaaargh!!!

Destructo stopped, gave him The Look, started to walk away, then turned back to study him just a little more. Then he ran off to play.

This is when Little Boy approached me.

Little Boy: I'm an alien.

Me: Oh, you are?

Little Boy: I'm an alien and my name is Kevin.

Me: Okay, Kevin.....

Little Boy (pointing to Destructo): Is he afraid of aliens?

Me: He's only two....he really doesn't know what an alien is.

Little Boy: I'm four. AND I'm an alien. He should be very afraid of me.

Then off he ran.

Across the bridge, down the ramp, and across the sand to where Destructo was just coming down the slide.

Again, he jumped at Destructo, yelling "RRrraaaaaargh!!"

Destructo stopped and studied him for a minute, then looked him right in the eye and yelled, "RRrrrrrAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!

Little Kevin the Alien was so freaked out, he ran off to the big kid slide and wasn't heard from again.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Big Island

(Note: I had to take the pictures out because it was messing up the formatting. You can click on the links, or I have posted them all in the "Photos" link to the left. Hopefully this will fix it....)

I've been so busy with other things, I almost forgot to post a wrapup of our trip to the Big Island with the in-laws. And I know everyone is dying to see my pictures (she said sarcastically).

We had been to the Big Island (also called Hawaii or Hawaii Island) before, but never to the Kona side. The Hilo side was nice - very lush, lots of waterfalls and foliage, easy access to Volcanoes National Park, and very small-town. We knew that Kona was the dry side of the island, but we really weren't sure what to expect.

After we arrived at the Kona International Airport (more on that later), we drove 20 miles to our destination. We saw miles and miles (20 to be exact) of this.

Nothing but dried lava rock with a bit of random greenery. Sometimes there was more green, sometimes more lava this.

We had made reservations at the
Outrigger Fairways Villas in the Waikoloa area. The Hubster's father loves to golf, so I was instructed to find a "nice place on a golf course". The Hubster's mother loves to shop, and nearby shopping was my second priority. I was able to get a Kama'aina (local) rate of $200 per night for a 2 bedroom, 2 bath condo on the golf course. (They offer similar rates for military, if anyone is interested.) The Diva and the Blonde One had opted out of the trip, so this was the perfect size for the six of us, and much less expensive than two hotel rooms. The place was gorgeous.... we had a ground floor unit with a full (and fully equipped) kitchen, granite countertops, beautiful tilework in the bathrooms, a sofa bed, and a lanai just off the golf course. It was new and clean and very well maintained.

The Wildcard and Destructo loved the pool.

The golf course was (literally) out our back lanai. The tall grass was the only thing keeping Destructo from running wild across the eighth hole.

The downside was that it was "resorty" - I'm not a big fan of resorts because I feel too confined. The in-laws love resorts, and this was more their vacation than ours, so it was all good. There are restaurants (on site) and shopping (on site) and touristy activities (on site) but there really isn't much else there (other than a few other resorts). We did drive 30 minutes into the Kailua-Kona area to eat one night, and again the next day to do some shopping.

The Wildcard, the MIL, and I went on a petroglyph hunt one evening along
King's Trail, which was right outside our back door. It got dark real fast and we didn't see anything, but I did snap this picture as we cut across the golf course to return to our condo.

The next morning the Wildcard and I walked the trail and found a bunch of petroglyphs and rock shelters.

The Hubster's parents (being from south Florida) were totally amazed by the Kona International Airport. It was a series of hut-like, open-air buildings, with the runway just on the other side of the building.

This is the view from the steps of the plane, looking back at the airport. All of the outer island airports are this way - there are no tunnels connecting the waiting area to the board the plane on the tarmac, via the stair steps.

And finally, Destructo.....the kid who LOVES airplanes. We arrived early at the airport just so he could watch the planes come and go. (He was in his second pair of shorts that day because he was so excited he already wet right through his diaper and first pair of shorts.) Here he is on the tarmac waiting to board the plane, rambling on about airplanes..........propellers............noisy..........danger.......... Meanwhile, MIL, FIL, the Hubster, the Wildcard, and I formed a circle around him to keep him from darting out onto the runway where there were MORE airplanes.........propellers.................

All in all, it was a nice trip. Personally, I prefer the Hilo side because there is more to do, especially for families with kids. The Kona side is great if you prefer resorts and want to relax without ever leaving the area.

Monday, July 10, 2006

It's 9:16......Do You Know Where Your Diva Is??

Sunday night, 9:16, our house:

-Destructo is asleep.

-The Blonde One and the Wildcard are playing GameCube.

-The Hubster had received an urgent phone call, and was off doing work stuff.

-I had put a batch of brownies in the oven and was waiting for them to finish baking so I could go for a run.

Enter The Diva and her friend, the Bright Idea Girl.

Diva: much longer until they are done? Maybe we'll stay a while....

Bright Idea Girl: (Looking at the clock on the stove, the clock that says 9:16 p.m.) Oh, they are almost done! Only nine more minutes and sixteen seconds.

(The time changes to 9:17 p.m.)

Bright Idea Girl: Okay, nine minutes and seventeen seconds.....hey!!! Why are the numbers going up??!???

My New Blog......a Primer

First, thanks to everyone for the input! I'm still doing a bit of fine-tuning and have a few more links to add, but for the most's finally finished. You should be seeing three columns - I'm still working on that because some people are only seeing two (with the kids' info at the bottom).

I used a template generator from
here to get the basics, then tweaked it until I got what I wanted. I'm really not very good at it, so it was mostly trial and error. (And if anyone can tell me how to make the font size for the links smaller, I would really appreciate it!! There was no obvious "font size" thing that I could edit.)

Anyway, from the top.

The picture? I took it when I was supposed to be at a waterfront function on base with the Hubster. Destructo was along for the ride (Destructo + Waterfront = BAD!), so I ended up wandering off with him and taking pictures while the Hubster handled the formalities.

The title? Talkin' Story is a local phrase, roughly equivalent to random front-porch conversation. And while I'm at it, in Hawaii a Haole is a 'foreigner'. It is usually used to refer to a white person, sometimes in a derogatory way.....sometimes as a term of endearment. You can choose which way to use it when you refer to me.

The links? I created a separate section for my stuff because, well, this is my blog and it's about me!!!! I changed the layout on those as well, using templates from
here. I still have some tweaking to do with those, but not tonight. I also added a new one for Hawaii Links, which will just be a list of links to things I mention in the blog.....if I feel it is worthy, Lol.

More links? I also cleared out some of the stale links, either because they haven't been updated often or because I don't find them entertaining any more. I added a few more new ones, and have a few more on the way. If you've never been to Post Secret, check it out.....some are hysterical (like the second one on the current page) and others are odd/sad/creepy. The Friend in Seattle turned me on to True Wife Confessions, which is hysterical! Combat Lipstick is a "flight nurse with the military and an ER nurse in the civilian world" and has the best stories from the ER. I forgot where I heard about Midwestern Mommy, but she's great too. I have a few more to add, but not tonight because it's 3 A.M. and Destructo won't stay in bed. Grrrr.........

The bios? Those and the pictures were added for your benefit, to clear any confusion. And I want you to know that it took me forever to find a decent picture of the Blonde One - he inherited my "camera-shy" gene.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. Now, I need to get a 2 y/o back to sleep before morning.....

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Feedback Time!!

So, how does the new site look?

It's still a work-in-progress, so let me know if there are any issues. I know there's some funky margin thing that needs to be's fine on one of my computers, but not on the other. Do you see the kids' pictures in the right-hand column, or at the bottom?

I'm working on updating some links and adding a couple more features, but the big part of it is finished.

Comments appreciated.......


Thursday, July 06, 2006

Efficiency 101

A quick quiz:

Question: How many Maintenance workers does it take to replace a door?

Answer: Five.

One to tear the old door off the hinges, one to cut and hang the new door, one to come by and pick up the old door, and two paint the new door.

Question: Assume the door is to a water heater room on the outside of the house. How many times will the Maintenance workers ring the doorbell in order to update the status of the job?

Answer: Twelve.

Question: If Maintenance calls Friday morning to change your "between noon and 4 p.m.on Friday" appointment to "between noon and 4 p.m. on Wednesday", when will they arrive?

Answer: Friday, 12:30.

Question: If you aren't there at 12:30 on Friday, when will they return?

Answer: As you are stepping into the shower at 9:30 Wednesday morning, of course.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Slight Revision

(To the "Happiness Is...." post.)

Happiness is.....................

Spending three hours with three 11 y/o boys surrounded by

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deep-fried twinkies and

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freaky neon Tweety Birds.

Then, just when you've reached the point where you want to gouge your eyeballs out and run naked into the ocean, you go home and are greeted at the door by the Hubster, who is bearing chocolate and Mai Tais.

(He always knows what I need.)