Friday, June 30, 2006

Happiness Is.............Friday!!

So, I'm back at the PhotoFriday thing.

This week's topic is "Happiness Is...."

This is my "Happiness" choice. It is one of my favorites for many reasons. I like that they both seem to be on the same wavelength (apologies for the bad pun), I like the colors, I like the way Destructo's feet have totally disappeared in the sand and the way his diaper is sticking out of his surfer shorts. However, most of all I love the fact that for a few brief minutes neither of us had to chase after Destructo!!
Return of the Bagel Head

A couple of days ago I mentioned Destructo's
bagel cravings.

This morning I was sound asleep when I heard serious rustling on the bed next to me. I rolled over and attempted to open at least one eye. There was Destructo, sitting on the bed next to me with a bag of bagels.

And a tub of cream cheese.



And his Elmo plate and a knife.



And two bags of English muffins (one plain, one raisin).




And half a loaf of bread.




And, finally, a stick of butter.




Little stinker......he forgot to bring me the toaster.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Notes To Self:

1. Just because you can hear the song on your i-Pod doesn't mean everyone around you hears it too.

2. It's dark at 10 p.m. - people don't necessarily see a jogger coming up behind them.



Note to Guy in the Hard Rock t-shirt out walking at 10 p.m.:

Yes, it probably startled you a bit to have the crazy lady run up behind you in the dark singing, "Move Along" by the
All-American Rejects......but the phrase "dumb ass loser" really was inappropriate.



Personally, I would have preferred "escaped psycho bitch".


Move along, move along just to make it through........................


Monday, June 26, 2006

We Need a New System

Tonight Destructo came to us at bedtime asking for a snack.

I was planning to make smoothies for the boys after Destructo went to bed. Destructo had already had sherbet, fresh fruit (lots), milk, and fruit juice - all the ingredients of a smoothie at our house. I was concerned that more of any ingredient would lead to a poopy diaper mess.

Knowing that Destructo loves bagels, but not sure if we had the mandatory cream cheese topping, I said to the Hubster, "Instead of staying up for smoothies, let him have a b-a-g-e-l."

(If Destructo heard the word "bagel", there would be no turning back.)

The Hubster stood there with a "Huh?" look on his face.

I repeated, "b-a-g-e-l."

"d-a-p.....what????"

"B. A. G. E. L."

He finally got it......"Oh, a bagel."

This sent Destructo into a bagel frenzy. He was dancing around the room demanding, "Bagels, bagels with cheese. Bagels with cheese, please!!"

I shot the Hubster 'The Look' and said, "You had better hope we have c-r-e-a-m c-h-e-e-s-e........."

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Knock, Knock....

So, this morning I was in the shower when I thought I heard a tapping noise on the bathroom door.

The Hubster was at work, the older kids were still asleep, and I had left Destructo in the living room engrossed in Little Einsteins.

A few seconds later it was there again - a definite "Tap, tap, tap..."

I assumed it was Destructo, although he usually just barges in and doesn't bother with the knocking. I called out his name, and heard some muffled comments. It sounded like he was okay, so I talked to him through the door while I continued my shower.


Tap, tap, tap.....

Whatcha doin', Bubby?

Tap, tap, tap....

(Silence.)

I knocked on the shower wall, thinking he was playing a game.

He responded with more tapping, followed by a frustrated "Ohhhhhh......man."

I quickly finished my shower and turned off the water so I could hear him better.

Is everything okay?

Tap, tap.......crack. Ooooohhhhhh......man!!!!

I wrapped up in a towel and opened the door just as the tapping began again.

There was Destructo, in his airplane jammies, with three eggs - two were broken and oozing all over his hands and onto the floor. The third egg was in his little hand and was being used as a door knocker.

Two big blue eyes blinked at me. "Hungry now. Let's eat eggs."

Monday, June 19, 2006

"Vacation" Wrapup

To sum it all up:

The visit with the in-laws went extremely well. So well, in fact, that they plan to come back every year while we are here.


Don't get me wrong, I am very fortunate in the MIL/FIL department. They are wonderful people and we had a great visit. It's just that two weeks is a long, long time for someone like me (a control freak who loves her privacy) to have visitors. By Day Twelve I was ready to gouge my eyes out.


Anyway, that's not the scary part.

After the in-laws returned home and told everyone about their trip, BIL and SIL From Hell have decided that they really need to make a trip out here.

Don't even get me started on the possibility of a visit from SIL From Hell. It would make excellent blog fodder, but only after I'm out on bail.


The Diva's college orientation went well, sort of. She cried on and off from Honolulu to somewhere over the Rockies, where she finally fell asleep. (She had been up all night for her grad night, plus she really doesn't want to go to college so far from home.)

She was actually very impressed with the campus and the surrounding community. The faculty and students she met were very nice, helpful, and 'normal'. It was everything she had been looking for in a university, except it was not Hawaii.

So, we headed home and she cried on and off as we flew back across the Pacific.

(It's going to be a rough summer.)


After we returned, we headed off to the Big Island for a few days, then hit all the major spots on Oahu - Pearl Harbor and the Arizona Memorial, Diamond Head, the Strip of Waikiki, Punchbowl, Aloha Tower, the North Shore, Aloha Stadium Swap Meet, and even a luau (which I swore I would never enjoy, but multiple Mai Tais convinced me otherwise). I've never felt like such a tourist in my life!

We also ate - a lot. There was Gordon Biersch, the Cheesecake Factory (my new favorite chain, in spite of the long wait), Cholo's (on the North Shore), Mama's Island Pizza, an awesome Mediterranean place on the Big Island (FIL, the finicky eater, had to go back the second time "just for the sauce"), Outback (on the Big Island - still not a fan), Olive Garden (twice while on the Mainland), and the O' Club.

So, now I have about ten pounds to work off.


(Yeah, it's going to be a rough summer for me too.)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Working the System

This morning I was relaxing and watching the Blonde One's soccer game when my cell phone rang.

It was the Diva, who had gone hiking to
Maunawili Falls with some friends. It's a 1.5 mile hike to the end, where there are some small waterfalls and deep fresh-water pools. It's a popular hike, and at the end everyone usually jumps from the waterfalls into the pools below to cool off.

Ummmmm......Mom? I sort of had an accident. I was jumping down the waterfalls and I slipped on a rock. I fell all the way down and ended up with bruises and scratches. I bumped my head and my foot hurts. Plus the pools have pig water in them. What should I do?

She told me that she was back in her car and on her way home. The soccer game was almost over, so I told her to get a shower and I would see her in a few minutes.

At that point, my main concern was the "pig water". However, by the time I got home, she was in quite a bit of pain. She had a lump on the back of her head, half her back and one butt cheek were bright red from the scratches and swollen from the bruising, her left arm was cut and bruised, and her left foot had two huge knots on the side and was badly swollen. She said she couldn't walk on it, and she had no idea how she managed to do the 1.5 miles back from the waterfalls.

So, I told her we were going to the Emergency Room at Tripler. She threw a t-shirt and little skirt over her bikini, and we were off.

After waiting about an hour, they finally called her name. By this time, her foot was really hurting, she was shaking (it was cold in there and she was nervous), and she was thirsty. I helped her hobble back to the treatment area, and then the fun began.

Apparently the (young, male) staff in the ER don't see a lot of Divas as patients.

It took less than a minute for Guy #1 to stop by and ask her what happened. She told her story, he was sympathetic, and she was flattered by the attention.

Guy #2 quickly brought her a blanket because he had noticed her shivering as she walked by.

Guy #3 had heard about her heroic leap from a waterfall and wanted to take a look at her foot (he said he was a medic). He asked if there was anything she needed. She said she was thirsty, and a glass of ice water appeared almost immediately.

The doctor came by to examine her foot. Guy #4 popped his head in, and the doctor told him to go away. The doctor looked at her scratches, bruises, and the lump on her head, then left to check her X-rays. Guy #4 came back and apologized for intruding earlier, then asked the Diva what happened.

Guy #2 reappeared, listened to her story, then shared some of his hiking stories with her.

The doctor came back, shooed off Guys #2 and #4, and said that nothing appeared to be broken. He said she needed to have her cuts and scratches scrubbed really well, but thought it might be best if she did it at home, rather than have one of the E.R. Guys do it. (I agreed with him.)

So, the lump on her head was not serious. The scratches, bruises, and cuts will be painful, but will heal on their own. We got the leptospirosis lecture and will keep an eye out for any symptoms. Her foot was pretty messed up, but not broken. It was wrapped and she was able to hobble out on a crutch, with the help of Guy #1.

The bottom line? A little Vicodin and a lot of male attention is all a wounded Diva needs.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Eavesdropping


On me:

The Diva: Mom? We need to talk.

Me: About what?

Diva: Boyfriends and tattoos.

Me: Okay...............

Diva: One, I already have. The other one, I want.



Me again, after a very long flight to the East Coast followed by a very short night's sleep and an even longer day of orientation at the Diva's college. The phone rings at 8:30 p.m. and I have already been asleep for an hour.

Wildcard (out of breath from running home from the bus stop): Mom?

Me: Huh?

Wildcard (still out of breath): Guess what?

Me: Huh? What?

Wildcard (begins reading): "Congratulations! Your child has been selected as Student of the Year for his class blah, blah, blah............................."

Me (still half asleep): Oh....that's great...........make sure Dad takes you out for ice cream, okay?

(I won't be winning Mom of the Year for that one.)


At the Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor with the in-laws last week:

(If you haven't been there, the memorial is built on the water, directly over the sunken Arizona battleship. You are given an assigned tour time, watch a video presentation on the bombing of Pearl Harbor, then board a boat that takes you out to the memorial site. If you don't arrive early, the wait can be long.)

Whiny Tourist: Why did they build the memorial all the way out there? I mean, wouldn't it make more sense to build it on the shore where you didn't have to take a boat out to see it?



Sitting at the Hale Koa with the Hubster and the in-laws, waiting for the luau to start:

Waitress (talking to customers at another table): The Mai Tais have three shots of alcohol. The Pina Coladas only have one.

The Hubster (a few minutes later, to the waitress): A round of Mai Tais.....keep 'em coming.

(Brilliant. That's why I married him. Complete wrapup tomorrow.)