Wednesday, June 29, 2005

It's Moving Time, Finally!!!

I have to say, this year has been the most miserable, most difficult, most stressful year of my life....even worse than the year before, when the Hubster was gone the entire year. The biggest factor in that has been our housing situation, and we are all looking forward to the move just so we can resume some sort of normal life again.

So, my Top Ten Reasons I Am Happy About Moving:

10. I hate this house. No more Rustic Igloo decor. No more dingy brown tile. No more rooms without overhead lighting.

9. This neighborhood is not family-friendly. Or neighbor-friendly, for that matter. No one ever comes out of their houses, even the kids. When we go for our long walks with Destructo in the evening, we would maybe see one other person out walking. And they of course would look away and pretend not to notice, because it would be really difficult to say "Hi" to someone.

8. The long drives are really starting to wear on us. The Diva and the Blonde One spent two hours on the road every school day, and often spent another 3 hours at the Hubster's office waiting for their ride home.

7. The Hubster will be home at a reasonable time, and he can go surf on the weekends without making an entire day of it because of the drive.

6. Swiss Orange Sherbet. The commissary on base is the only place that carries it, and it would melt before I got it home. Not any more.

5. Costco membership expires in July and I will never go there again. The customers are rude and self-centered, the employees are arrogant, and their food spoils too quickly. We only joined because it is two minutes from our house and we had heard so many people say how wonderful Costco is. They were either delusional or hadn't been to this Costco.

4. Traffic. To get to Pearl Harbor, Hickam, or points beyond, I have to deal with the unpredictable Honolulu traffic. No more.

3. Close neighbors. I hate that I can't look out my window without seeing another house fifteen feet away. I don't like hearing everything that goes on in the neighborhood. I don't need the smell of my neighbors dinner blowing through my house on a night when I choose not to cook.

2. I can hang things on the walls again!! And paint the rooms!!

1. Air conditioning. Air conditioning. Air conditioning.


(Off to do my Happy Dance now....)



Monday, June 27, 2005

Orange Friday

It's a good thing I'm moving.

A few weeks ago I was on this Botanical Kick, where I had the urge to take botanical pictures. I went to several parks and the botanical gardens. I even staged walks with Destructo in the stroller just so I could sneak a few pics of the neighbors' landscaping.

I' m sure the neighbors thought I was crazy.

So, Orange Friday came along.

On Saturday I was driving home from the soccer games where I had taken some interesting(?) pics of the orange cones that are used to mark the corners of the field. As I came around the corner by my house, I noticed the neighbor's roof for the first time ever.

Beautiful
Orange Terra Cotta Tile.

I don't think they noticed the crazy lady snapping pictures of their roof.

(At least the police haven't come yet.)

Friday, June 24, 2005

SOMEONE Was Very Disappointed....

I recently installed a site meter on my Photo Friday blog, just to count the hits. I never really paid much attention to it, but tonight I was scanning the data and discovered that someone had found my Photo Friday blog by Googling "Hot Haole Girl Pictures".

LMAO!!!

It took him (assuming it was a 'him') to the Photo Friday
"Hot" challenge from a few months ago.

Sorry to disappoint, but there are no Hot Haole Girl pictures here.


Thursday, June 23, 2005

The Hunt Continues

Today Shari and I (and the Wildcard and Destructo) looked at seven houses.

Yesterday when she called and we finalized all the details, we decided to meet at a specific shopping center this morning, and because I would have the boys with me, I would drive.

My first thought when I hung up the phone was, "Crap. I'm going to have an adult in my car."

Shari is my age, and they have no children. This means she isn't accustomed to driving around town with a car load of cracker crumbs, sand particles, grass clippings, juice splatters on the ceiling, and various "toys" scattered throughout. (I use the term "toys" loosely, because a toy is anything that will keep the attention of a 17 m/o for more than a minute.)

So, this morning before we left, I cleaned the MomVan. I vacuumed all the beach/soccer field/baby snack remnants, wiped down the interior, and de-cluttered the entire van. I kept some of the "toys", but decided some were easier to remove than explain why they were there. Like a humongous BBQ brush, three free AOL disks, a corded telephone, a yo-yo (those are always fun in a car), and a ziplock baggie full of wooden buttons. When I was finished, the MomVan was more than presentable.

Unfortunately, I later discovered that I spent more time cleaning my MomVan than some people spent preparing their homes to be shown.

Three of the houses were prime candidates for "Mission: Organization". It was clutter, clutter everywhere. I mean, come on....plant ledges are NOT meant to be used as extra storage space. Don't stack boxes and piles of random crap up there! And if you are a really bad artist, put some of your paintings away. Perhaps there is room in the dumpster?

Also, if you are trying to sell your house, open the freaking blinds. If I'm wandering through your maze of clutter in the dark, you had better have your homeowners insurance up-to-date. Maybe it's me, but I'm all about light in a house.

And the nasty carpet odor? Shampoo the carpets, sprinkle some carpet deodorizer, or at least Febreeze it. The carpet in the last house was so disgusting, I had an uncontrollable urge to wash my feet when we left. (Thank God for Clorox wipes in the MomVan.)

One more bit of advice: Leave the house when people come to look at it. There's nothing that will run me off faster than a homeowner passing out religious literature to prospective buyers.

We did see three really nice houses. Unfortunately, my favorite was only taking back-up offers. My second-favorite is in the lower end of our price range, it was in a nice neighborhood just across the street from a park, had some ocean and mountain views, but two of the bedrooms were tiny. My third favorite - I loved the house, the layout was great, it had granite, stainless steel appliances, central air, everything. The problem was the neighborhood - it was very tight, and no matter which window I looked out, I was staring directly at another house.

So, it was a wasted day, other than the fact that I got to have lunch with two very cute, very well-behaved little boys when we finished.
Sporty Friday

For this week's Photo Friday, the topic was "Sport". Being in Hawaii.....duh! It was
a no-brainer!

The picture was taken this past winter at the North Shore, with my old (film) camera. I had to scan the photo and crop it, so it looks a bit grainy, but I like it.

The Hubster thinks it is one of my best pictures EVER. He kept looking at it saying, "Do you know how hard it is to get a picture where one guy breaks left and the other breaks right? In perfect harmony? Do you?"

Ummm....point and click? It's not that hard.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Getting Caught Up In the Game

When we bought our house in Florida a couple years ago, it seemed quite simple. The kids stayed with friends in Oklahoma while the Hubster and I flew to Florida for a whirlwind 3-day househunting trip. We had been scouring various real estate websites for months and had been working with a realtor who was going to show us the 20 or so houses we had selected. That was Day 1. Day 2 was spent taking a second look at the three we were considering, then choosing one and going through the offer/counter-offer routine before reaching an agreement with the owners. On Day 3 we signed the paperwork and were on a plane headed home by noon.

It happened quite fast, but there really was no pressure.

Fast-forward to the present.

We knew we wanted to buy an investment property here in Hawaii since before we arrived. We've done tons of research into the market, and have a realtor-friend who has been sending us listings for the past couple of months. We've narrowed our search to two very different areas, and have started seriously looking in the past couple of weeks.

Yesterday I e-mailed Shari the Realtor and asked her to make appointments for us to look at seven homes in the central part of the island one day this week. She sent me three more new listings that looked good, so there were ten houses total for us to look at.

Now, real estate over here sells fast, and it's a whole different game than many places. If you aren't there when the property goes on the market, and willing to pay at least the offering price, forget it. I knew this, and assumed of the ten houses on my list, we would be able to look at maybe half of them.

Tonight I had just dropped the boys off at soccer practice on the Windward side of the island (the other place we're looking), and was headed out to prowl some neighborhoods with the Diva and Destructo for the two hours while they practiced. I had just turned in to one of my favorite neighborhoods when my cell phone rang. It was Shari.

Barb? You're not going to believe this, but all ten of those houses are off the market. Two were withdrawn and the other eight are in escrow. There's one new one out there, but the agent thinks it will be sold by tomorrow. We can take a look at it if you want.

We decided it wasn't worth the drive up there just to look at one house. I asked her about a house we had walked through last week, and another that had just come on the market yesterday.

The one we looked at last week? It is not for sale. The owners changed their minds - again. Seriously. Who puts a house on the market one day, then changes their minds the next day?

The new listing? She said she could show it to me, but the agent guessed it would be sold before the open house on Thursday. We were each five minutes away from the house, so I met her there and we walked through (no one was living there, so we were able to do that).

It was a nice house, 4 bedrooms, 2 baths and reasonably priced. Everything except the bathrooms had been re-done, and it had a beautiful, huge yard (by Hawaii standards). However, there was no dishwasher or garbage disposal, and the washer/dryer were in the master bath, which had no door. Plus, it was on the main street through town which made it noisy and difficult to get out of the driveway. I took some pictures to show the Hubster, who by now was waiting at the soccer fields (I had promised to bring him something to eat) and had no idea I was out looking at houses. I told her we would get back to her within an hour.

Then she mentioned another house nearby that had just come on the market. It was also 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, recently upgraded, and very close to the beach. It was priced higher, but still considered a great find. She called the agent who told her we wouldn't be able to look at it until tomorrow, and set up an appointment for us. We drove by on our way back to the soccer fields. It looked promising.

So, I met my Very Hungry Hubster at the soccer fields (without food in hand) and showed him the pictures. We decided to pass on that house, mainly because of the location. Everything else could be fixed.

Then I told him about the other house, the one close to the beach. We talked about it a lot and got more and more excited, thinking it might be the one.

This is when I remembered that I needed to get back to Shari about the noisy house, so I made a quick phone call. I let her know we're really not interested in the noisy house, but are looking forward to seeing the other one tomorrow.

Ummmm....Barb? You're not going to believe this. (I'm beginning to notice that she starts a LOT of conversations that way...) The house has been sold. The owners accepted an offer within the past hour.

Crap. So now we're back to square one.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Mall Etiquette

(Not that I'm an etiquette expert - my idea of a polite person is anyone who gets the Hell out of my way.)

These are my simple rules for visiting the mall on a Sunday afternoon:

-When circling the parking lot hoping to land a prestigious front-row space, don't stop in the very center of the lane with your turn signal on while you wait for an entire family to pack up and leave. Move to the side enough to allow those behind you to pass. No one is going to steal your freakin' parking space.

-If you come to the mall with your four children - an infant and toddler in a double stroller, a toddler in one hand, and a pre-schooler running wild - please don't dress in your Sunday-Best Teenage Hooker outfit. You aren't a 15 y/o tramp any more....you are a 30 y/o tramp and should dress like one.

-If you are a 30 y/o tramp who decides to meet several of your 30 y/o tramp friends (also with kids in tow) at a busy mall on a Sunday afternoon, please don't form a blockade as you wander through the mall chatting about random stuff, totally oblivious to your surroundings. Sit down to do your chatting and let people pass.

-When you get to the top (or bottom) of an escalator, you have three choices: Go left, go right, or go straight. Do NOT stand there and try to figure out where to go. There are people behind you and the escalator doesn't stop just because you are indecisive and stupid.

-And most important of all, if you are a Bitch in a Hurry, don't go to the mall on a Sunday afternoon.

Friday, June 17, 2005

How to Annoy Me Today

1. Wake me at 3 a.m. spewing vomit everywhere, then insist that you can only throw up in clean things. No toilets, no wastebaskets, just clean tupperware all in a row to be used once, then discarded.

2. Put me on hold, then every ten seconds have the Recorded Voice Lady come on and remind me that I am on hold.

3. Wander aimlessly through the house, turning off all the fans because you like the little "beep" noise it makes when you do that.

4. Tell me you can't get out to fix my furniture until after we move, then joke that "maybe the movers will damage it some more and we can fix it all at once!"

5. Give stupid celebrity couples stupid nicknames like TomKat then assume everyone cares about the status of their relationship.

To be continued.... (it's still early here)

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Lost in Translation

I was reading
Jen's blog tonight and I had flashbacks to an experience my friend Emily* had when we were both living in Japan. Tonight I'm going to take a break from rambling on about myself and instead will talk about Emily.

Emily is married to a Navy doctor, and they had three young children when we were living in Japan. She is a blast to be around, but comes off as very proper and controlled in public, much like the stereotypical 'doctor's wife'.

One afternoon Emily finally found some time to sneak off for a quick haircut at the salon on base. There were about eight stylists working in the salon, usually about half were American and the other half were Japanese with varying degrees of understanding of the English language. Since Emily didn't have an appointment, she had no choice in stylists. Hiroshi would be doing her hair.

Hiroshi was tall and thin, and seemed to be a very typical Japanese male. He smiled and bowed slightly to Emily, then motioned to his chair. She had a slight panic attack when she realized there would be a language barrier because, after all, this was her hair we're talking about, damnit!!

She somehow explained to him what she wanted, using a series of universal gestures, magazine photos, and translation help from other stylists. He shampooed, conditioned, cut, spritzed, cut some more, spritzed some more, and fussed with her hair for nearly two hours. He did a fantastic job, and after way too many days of staying home with three small children, she was thrilled that she finally looked hot again.

However, when he finally finished, it was past dinner time. She apologized profusely to Hiroshi for taking so much of his time, then apologized again for probably making him miss his dinner.

Hiroshi turned six shades of red.

Emily was confused as to why he was so embarrassed, so she asked another stylist to see what was wrong. She was horrified to learn that Hiroshi thought she was asking him out for dinner.

She tried again to apologize, this time for the misunderstanding, explaining (via universal hand signals) that she had a husband and children.

Hiroshi began to panic. He was beet red again, shaking his head "no" and waving his hands back and forth for added emphasis on the "No!"

Now Emily was embarrassed and beginning to freak a bit, so again she asked for help in translation.

The problem?

This time Hiroshi thought she wanted to marry him and have his babies.

The moral of the story?

I don't think there is one. I just remember how hysterical this was when Emily was telling us. And I always make sure my stylist speaks English.



*I had to change her name because she would die of embarrassment if she knew I was blogging about this.




Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Padded Room for One, Please?

The MomVan is nearing the end of it's extended warranty period. We have been very, very lucky and have only had to take it for repairs once in its almost 75,000 mile life. We're sure it is just waiting for 75,001 miles to break down, so we decided to pay very close attention and have every little thing we noticed repaired while it is still under warranty.

We only came up with one problem - the speaker. The front, driver's side speaker has been going in and out for a while now, so I made an appointment to get it fixed today.

The Wildcard, Destructo, and I left the house at 7:00 this morning to go drop the MomVan off for repairs. Usually if they know you are waiting (as opposed to picking your vehicle up after work) they will do it first. Plus, it was only a speaker, right? I planned to drop the van off before 8:00 and, worst case scenario, be driving away by noon.

I pulled into the parking lot at 7:45 (with my odometer reading 74,966, by the way). We completed the appropriate paperwork, unloaded the stroller and a morning's worth of diapers, snacks, and amusements. There really isn't a whole lot to do in the area, so I planned to take the boys for breakfast, go for a walk before it got too hot, then stroll through a nearby mall until they called to let me know the van was ready. This is how it actually went:

8:00 - Spot a Portuguese Pancake House. The Wildcard thinks they may have waffles too, so we stop and have breakfast. Apparently there is no cheese in Portugal, because my omelet is cheeseless. I've never heard of a cheeseless omelet. The Wildcard has waffles, Destructo shares my cheeseless omelet. The Hubster calls and I tell him everything is going great.

8:45 - We head out for a walk. There are no parks or playgrounds nearby, so we walk along the main road through town. The sidewalk is right next to the street, which freaks me out a bit. None of the shops are open yet, so we wander aimlessly. After about a mile, we duck into a grocery store just to cool off. We turn and head back, stopping at a medical center to get a drink, cool off, and kill some time letting Destructo play in the elevator.

9:30 - We arrive at the mall. It is open, but none of the stores are open yet. We stroll through the air conditioned mall, let Destructo run free, and wait for the 10:00 opening.

10:00 - The shops open, and I check to see if the Wildcard can get a walk-in haircut. They tell me to come back at 10:30. We head off to the $0.99 store to see what kind of cheap crap they have to entertain the boys for a few hours. The Wildcard chooses a yo-yo, and Destructo likes a bubble-blower/whistle/noisemaker thingie. I knew it was going to make me crazy, but he likes it. I grab a package of Hello Kitty chocolate pretzel snacks and head to the cash registers.

10:20 - We discover that the Wildcard's yo-yo is musical. (Oh, joy.) With each fling of the yo-yo we get to listen to everyone's favorite - "It's a Small World" only it's more like, "It's a Small World, Damnit!!" The thing is loud, it's shrill, and several people go into convulsions. Destructo loves it.

10:30 - Haircut time. This was a nice break for me because the Wildcard is a non-stop talker. Not that I mind talking with my kids, but after about 25 minutes of non-stop 10 y/o conversation, I'm comatose. Destructo decides Hello Kitty chocolate pretzel snacks are better jabbed into his forehead than they are eaten. Or maybe he's giving me a sign.

11:15 - The haircut is over, and the Wildcard wants to check out the book store. I can't argue with that, so we spend the next 45 minutes in Borders. It was "Buy Four, Get a Fifth Free" day, so the Wildcard got three and Destructo got two. The Hubster calls again and I tell him all is well, the van should be finished soon.

12:00 - Call the car repair place. Matt is in charge of my repair, but he isn't answering his phone. Leave a voicemail and head to the pet store.

12:30 - Take the Wildcard to Arby's for lunch. He reminisces about the last time he had Arby's - it was last June and we were in the process of moving....sound familiar? Destructo smashes a waffle (left over from breakfast) into the table and smears it everywhere. He has been up since 6:30 without a nap.

1:00 - Matt hasn't called, so we walk back to the dealership to check on the MomVan. The receptionist calls Matt, but he doesn't answer. Just as she is running out the door to find him, my cell phone rings and it is Matt. They haven't found the problem with the speaker yet (as in, we haven't looked at your van yet). I tell him I am waiting in the lounge, and ask how much longer it will be. He freaks out a bit, apologizes for making me wait so long with two kids, then asks if we would like our annual safety check (which expires this month) done while we are there. It won't take any extra time, and it will save me a later trip to have it done somewhere else. I sense the guilt in his voice and (knowing that it probably won't pass inspection because it needs new tires) tell him to go ahead and do it. I'm hoping they give me a Sympathy Pass on the safety thing.

1:05 - We make ourselves comfortable in the lounge. Destructo sits quietly in his stroller looking at his new books, and the Wildcard is busy constructing a new robot/monster type toy that we got at the mall. (3/$10 at K.B. Toys - the two I bought were the best $6.66 I ever spent.) The Blonde One calls. He and the Diva are out of summer school for the day, can I pick them up or will he have to wait at the Hubster's office until 5:00? I tell him to plan on spending the afternoon there (which isn't bad, the office is on the beach and he will most likely spend the time body boarding anyway). The Hubster calls. I tell him I am getting annoyed, but all is still relatively well. Sheppard Smith is on Fox News, and I don't often get the opportunity to watch him, so the hour passes quickly.

2:00 - O'Reilley comes on Fox and I begin looking for the Hello Kitty pretzel snacks to jab into my forehead. The Wildcard is still busy. Destructo has finished looking at his books and I am popping snacks into his mouth. He is still sitting quietly in his stroller. It is now 4.5 hours past his nap time.

2:30 - The Hubster calls and I am not in a pleasant mood. Destructo is out of the stroller and climbing across the chairs in the lounge, emptying the brochure rack, and banging the pictures of the "Service Professionals" against the wall. (Interestingly enough, Matt is not pictured with the Service Professionals.) The Wildcard is still occupied with his toys.

3:00 - We move to the showroom and discover a kids corner with a couple of (bacteria covered) toys for the kiddos. I let Destructo have at them.

3:30 - The Wildcard is finished with his toys and joins his brother on the nasty toys. They play while he tells me the background of the toys he has been playing with, how they can transform, the different weapons each has, and a whole bunch of other things I don't remember.

3:55 - The Hubster calls again just as Destructo has his meltdown. He is screaming and throwing himself on the floor. I quickly strap him in the stroller and head out the back door. I am greeted at the door by.....Matt!! The MomVan is done and it (surprisingly) passed inspection. Plus, they have waived the deductible on the warranty work.

4:00 - I am on the road, heading home with visions of a jumbo Margarita dancing in my head....
Nerdy Friday

I posted
my Nerdy picture a few days ago, but haven't been around much to update anything else.

The hardest part about this week's challenge was narrowing down all the nerdy things in my life and eliminating those that don't photograph well. I don't think you can get much more nerdy than the U.S. Tax Code, especially Net Operating Losses.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

I Feel like Mrs. Kravitz

(If you are as old as me, you know I am talking about the nosy next-door neighbor on "Bewitched", not Lenny's mom.)

The house next door sold recently, and the new owners are doing a huge remodeling project before moving in. For the most part, it's been a pretty entertaining ordeal. At least for me. And because their house is just 15 feet from ours, separated only by a 4 ft. stone wall, I don't need binoculars and I don't need to eavesdrop in the bushes to know what is happening over there.

The process began simply enough. Contractors showed up one morning, there was much banging and crashing, and they went home at the end of the day. This went on for about a week, then nothing.

For the next week nothing happened, and then new contractors appeared. This was when I first met the new owners, who began telling me about the Contractor Hell they were living in. Apparently the old contractors just walked off the job and said they weren't coming back. No warning, just, "See ya!"

I felt bad for them.

The next day one of the old contractors stopped at the house to retrieve his tools, and the Hubster chatted with him. Apparently the New Neighbors went from "a small re-tiling project and kitchen cabinets" to "all new windows, kitchen cabinets, three full bathroom remodels, tile throughout, new paint...." New Neighbors didn't think they should pay extra for the additional work.

This is when it became a game for me.

The kitchen cabinets went in, then back out again when New Neighbors changed their minds.

Ten fan palms were planted in the back yard, then re-planted because the angle was wrong, then re-planted yet again under the direct supervision of Mrs. New Neighbor.

Mr. New Neighbor and the contractor had a huge argument when the contractor gave his employees the day off for Memorial Day. "I call the shots, you get your people back over here!!" was the phrase that ended the argument.

The contractors never came back, and we had several days of silence.

New Neighbors told us again how difficult it was to get good workers.

The next set of contractors came in and removed all the windows, which made listening unavoidable.


After much, much discussion, paint colors were selected and the painters began to work. Mrs. New Neighbor was heard saying, "Oh, I trust you. I'm just going to stand here and watch."

The one large bathroom window had been removed, and space was created for two smaller windows. Then it was all knocked out again, in favor of a large window. Now there's just a huge hole covered by a paper/plastic tarp that blows in the wind ALL NIGHT LONG. That's okay though, because none of the new windows have been (permanently) installed and we get to listen to a dozen paper/plastic tarps blowing right outside our bedroom window ALL NIGHT LONG.


From what I (over)heard, New Neighbors have to be out of their old house by the 25th and are planning to move next weekend. I don't know how they are going to manage that. They still have to put in the bathroom fixtures, the downstairs tile, all the windows....then there's the issue of the painters who suddenly walked off the job....

One more reason I'm glad we're moving.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Rare Friday

I almost missed it this week (which would be rare).

Obviously I didn't get anything new, but I do like my
Rare Photo.

I took it in February as I was driving onto the Marine Corps Base. There was one spot of showers that just kept moving across the water, and every few minutes the sun would come out and a rainbow would move across the water with the showers. Fortunately, I found a spot to pull over and take a few pictures. If I had had more time I could have gotten something a little better, but between the rain, the sun, and the traffic, I didn't have a whole lot of control!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I Think I Had Malaria

Or Yellow Fever.

(Or maybe just a case of the common crud.)

For the past week I've wanted nothing more than to be curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb. I've somehow survived on Motrin, ice water, and random acts of kindness.

To complicate things, I've been dealing with a 1 y/o who also has Malaria. Or Yellow Fever. (Or the crud.)

Sick toddlers are no fun on a good day. They whine, they throw their food, and they poop a lot. And they take great pleasure in whacking Sick Mommy in the head with a Sponge Bob sippy cup. Sleep is the last thing on their little minds.

Anyway, we somehow made it through a busy week, even with Malaria. School is out, at least for a few days. The Diva and the Blonde One both chose to take a summer school class, so they will be in school until the end of June. The Blonde One and the Wildcard started soccer practice this week. And we move in a few weeks, so the pace is beginning to pick up a bit.

I also seem to owe everyone an e-mail, a phone call, an apology, and/or money. Hopefully I can start digging out from the mess that accumulated while I was suffering from Malaria, and I promise to get back to everyone soon.

Or maybe I'll just send Destructo out to start offing people with his sippy cup.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

More Proof That Mom Can't Get Sick

1. As I'm going on day #5 of the Achy, Fever, Let Me Crawl in a Hole Crud, I found the opportunity to curl up for a quick afternoon nap. I woke twenty minutes later to discover that the Wildcard (aka Smartass) had taped a "Rest in Peace" sign on my headboard and scattered plumeria petals all over the bed.

2. After I cleaned up the plumeria mess, I peeked outside and saw Destructo playing in the front yard (under the Hubster's supervision) in nothing but a pair of the Wildcard's underwear. No diaper, just size 12 briefs held up by a big, black binder clip.

What the Hell is happening to these people?

Thursday, June 02, 2005

And How Are You?

So, where have I been lately?

1. In Molar-Cutting Hell

and

2. In Stomach/Intestinal Flu Hell (aka Poopy Diaper Hell).

and

3. Where-the-Hell-are-My-Tradewinds Hell.

It's got to get better, right?

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Whiny Wednesday

You know what annoys me?

(I know, I know, a lot of things annoy me lately.)

The Wildcard has a friend over and this kid has to check with his dad before he can do anything.

They want to play video games.

The kid has to call his dad first to make sure it's okay.

They want to play soccer outside.

Not until he calls his dad.

A snack?

Call the dad first.

Sheesh......Dad needs to lighten up. He would be much more productive at work if he wasn't taking calls from his son all afternoon.

((end of whine))