Monday, August 30, 2004

Ugh, ugh, ugh!!!!

So, I was up until 2:30 last night finishing laundry (it's just too hot to do it during the day).

At 6 a.m I woke up to dog barf on the living room floor and dog poop on the family room rug.

The Little Guy is teething and ornery, which is very out of character for him.

The Blonde One is getting his braces on Wednesday and I learned today that the Diva will begin Round Two of braces in two weeks. Grand total after insurance, repeat-customer discount, and pre-payment in full discount: Just under $5,000.

My tradewinds are gone!

We ran out of mashed potatoes at dinner.

And I have PMS, Damnit!!!

(I really need to get to sleep....)

If Only I Had Balls....

Today, for a change, the Hubster stayed home with the Little Guy and I took the Blonde One and the Wildcard to the beach.

Our usual weekend routine has become one family beach day and one 'guy' beach day. On the Family Beach Day, the Hubster and the boys surf or boogie board, the Diva sits on the sand and looks cute, and I entertain the Little Guy. We have snacks and drinks, and usually head home when the Little Guy is finished. On the Guy Beach Day, the guys head off for a day of surfing, boogie boarding, and of course snacks and drinks. They stay as long as they want, which is usually half the day (depending on the waves, of course).

I haven't been boogie boarding in three years - there wasn't much opportunity to hit the beach in Oklahoma and I was pregnant while we lived in Florida. Last week I informed the Hubster that this weekend we would be switching roles. I wanted my turn in the waves too!!

So, this morning we packed the cooler with snacks and drinks, loaded up the van and were off to the beach. The next four hours were spent riding the waves, eating, drinking, and just hanging out with the boys. We left tired, a bit sunburned, and with our sinuses full of salt water.

When I returned home, the Hubster was just putting the baby down for a nap. After a quick shower, I asked him how the day had been. The Little Guy didn't sleep the entire time I was gone, the dog got into the bathroom trash and dragged used tampons all over the house (the Diva got in trouble for this - she was supposed to have taken the trash out!), a parent called and invited the Wildcard to a birthday party (poor Hubster didn't have a clue who the parent or child was, and couldn't remember when the party will be), and he couldn't get the digital cable box to work right (thus, no TV).

He said he needed to lie down for a few minutes while the baby was asleep, and asked if I could return the wrong-sized speakers for the Diva's car to the store and pick up the correct ones.

The Diva and I were out the door in a heartbeat, leaving him with two tired and hungry boys, and a baby who woke the minute I left the house.

We exchanged the speakers, had a late lunch, and did a little shopping (she needs ((wants)) a specific style/color/fabric/logo shirt for school pictures this week). The Hubster called - he was making a salad and needed black olives and balsamic vinegarette dressing....could I bring some home??

By the time we returned home, he had finished the salad and was preparing to toss some steaks on the grill. (He's such a good wife!)

Fast forward to the end of the day.

We were standing in the kitchen, waiting to pull some cookies out of the oven, and chatting about the day. The conversation went like this:

Him: So, did you enjoy your day?

Me: Yeah, it was fun!

Him: You realize you lived my life today, don't you?

Me: (lightbulb going off in my head) Oh yeah, you do this all the time, don't you?

Him: I sure have a great life, don't I??

It almost makes me wish I had balls.....

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Just Sit There And Look Pretty, Okay??


Most people are smart. I never thought I'd say that, but most people really are smart, just in different ways.

Some people are intellectual-smart, some people are mechanical-smart. Very few people are both, but few are willing to admit it.

Take the Hubster, for example. He's brilliant...probably the most intelligent person I know. He has college degrees up the wazoo. He enjoys learning and it comes easy to him. However, when it comes to anything mechanical, forget it.

There was the time the vacuum cleaner broke and he was determined to fix it. I came home from running errands only to find vacuum cleaner parts, tools, and other debris in a pile of dust on my island countertop. He was very proud when he finished - he DID fix the problem and put the entire thing back together - with three pieces to spare. To this day the handle won't lock in the upright position.

Then there was the time our dryer vent was clogged. The vent ran from our main-floor laundry room through the wall, all the way up through the cathedral ceiling and out the roof. He thought he could snake it, but we don't possess a snake that long. He got the brilliant idea to use a hose - but not like most people would. His idea was to take the garden hose up to the roof, shove it as far down the vent as it would go, then turn the water on "just to see if the clog will come out". That time I came home to cursing and water seeping out from under my dining room walls.

He recently rotated the tires on my van, successfully it seemed. The next day as I was driving the Wildcard to school, there was a the-thoom, tha-thoom noise coming from the right front tire. He checked on it and discovered he hadn't tightened the lugnuts properly and the tire was coming loose. This caused the bolts to strip to the point where they couldn't be tightened, but they couldn't be removed either.

After much cursing, he decided to jack the car up, break the bolts off with a hammer, then replace them with new bolts. Simple enough.

Let's just say the rest was not pretty.

So, tonight he came to me with tools in his hand and asked, "Where are your car keys?"

After a series of questions, I learned that he was going to put new speakers in the Diva's car. (Did I mention we got her a car?) He needed to move my van from the garage so he could work on her car.

I was relieved because....well, what could possibly go wrong??

I turned over my keys, and it wasn't a minute later when he came stomping back into the house.....carrying the remnants of the left-rear taillight from my van.

He had backed my van out of the garage without looking and crashed into his truck.

Why can't he just give in and admit that he never was, and never will be, a mechanical-type person.

Thank God he has a desk job.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Back to School!!

The Diva and the Blonde One started school yesterday.

(Our Wildcard has been in school a month already!)

The Diva spent the past week planning her wardrobe, worrying about who she’ll eat lunch with, finishing up summer homework, and looking over maps of the school and coordinating them with her class schedule.

The Blonde One came to me over the weekend and asked which day school started. He didn’t realize it was so soon.

Their personalities are so completely different - she’s a classic Type A and he is definitely a Type B - it’s hard to believe they share DNA.

Yesterday morning the Hubster took them to school. The Diva chatted nervously all the way. The Blonde One fell asleep in the back seat.

They got caught in traffic - the Diva immediately started stressing, at one point she said she was just going to get out and walk the last mile. The Blonde One didn’t notice because he was still asleep.

When I picked them up after school, I found a nice parking place under a shady tree just one block from the school.

The Blonde One walked right past without seeing me. Our Wildcard stuck his head out the window and summoned his brother, who then laughed and came to the van. The two started chatting right away about video games.

The Diva saw me parked there, was totally embarrassed, dove into the van and hid in the back seat where no one could see her. She even put her head down, just to make sure.

I drive a Town and Country van, which totally embarrasses her. I don’t know why. It’s not like I’m picking her up at school in the Little Debbie truck or something.

Anyway, the conversation went like this:

Me: So, how was school?

He: Okay.

She: Hmmmph....

Me: Do you have any homework?

He: I don’t think so.

She: Yeeesss! (In a Duh, Mom sort of tone.)

Me: Did you make any friends today? (I had to ask that question because I know it pisses the Diva off.)

He: Wha?

She: Hmmmpph... (Her head was still down by her knees, so I really don’t know what she said.

We drove the rest of the way in silence.

When we got home, the Blonde One changed his clothes, ran outside with his soccer ball, and completely forgot about school.

It took about ten minutes for the Diva to get over the embarrassment of having to climb into a Mom Van in front of her fellow students. Then it started...

"I met that girl, Bre, for lunch and these two other girls that we sort of knew, I forgot their names, they had lunch with us too, and my third hour class, Mr. So-and-so is going to assign after-school homework, so I’ll have to stay after once a week, and we all have to pay a lab fee, and there was this girl wearing this REALLY odd outfit, like a skater whore or something, then this guy in my history class showed up late and it started raining as we were changing classes and I thoughtmyhairwasgoingtobeamess.................................."

At least she got over it.

Monday, August 23, 2004


So, we've finally arrived and are somewhat settled. The past two months have been an adventure, to say the least.

I could tell you about all the problems we had getting Pokey the Schnoodle here, but I won't.

I'll also spare you the details of our property manager saga - both here and in Florida.

Then there's the to-be-expected ER need to get into all that.

And I could go on forever about idiot movers, but you really don't need to know that.

To make a long story short, we've moved, we're settled, and life is good again!!

We're loving it here, it really feels like home. Hawaii is the most laid-back place we've ever lived and that's so appealing to us. It's expensive, but the quality of life more than makes up for the increased cost of living.

I should write more, but I did a 7-mile run tonight (with hills and wind) and I really need to get some sleep!

I'll write more tomorrow, yeah?

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Hey!!! I'm back!

I'm thinking I need a few revisions to the Blog to go with the other changes in my life....