Friday, April 23, 2004

Holy Crap, It's Our Anniversary!!

Today (it is after midnight, right?) is our 17th anniversary.

I know a lot of people who doubted we would be together this long. I laughed it off back then, and I'm still laughing today. See, the whole relationship just caught everyone off guard and everything happened so fast - they thought we were being too impulsive.

My friends called me the One-Date Wonder because I was famous for going on first dates and ending it there, leaving the poor guy wondering why I wouldn't go out with him again. I tried to explain that I was just being selective, but they thought I was too critical.

I wouldn't date smokers, heavy drinkers, guys who did drugs of any sort, divorced men, married men, men with children, those in need of hygeine tips, guys without a vision, guys with no sense of humor, mama's boys, men who had never seen the inside of a gym, or idiots. That pretty much eliminated everyone in my home town.

The Hubster was the exact opposite, which is typical of a guy. He had no standards. (Until I came along, of course. :) ) He had a steady girlfriend in high school. After they broke up he dated her mom. (Seriously.) After that he dated another girl for quite a while, but broke up with her on prom night. In college he was never short of "girlfriends". After graduation he started dating a crack-whore friend of his sister. She cried every time he tried to end the relationship, so he stayed with her. That's when he met me.

I grew up on a farm in the Midwest, in a strict Catholic home with a mom, a dad, brothers and sisters. We went to church every Sunday, ate meals together, and spent our free time sitting on the front porch, talking and watching the grass grow. It was very much like The Waltons.

He grew up in a large southern city with his immigrant father and alcoholic mother. His mom was out of his life before his tenth birthday, so he was raised by his father, grandparents, and eventually his step-mother. He has a sister, step-sister, step-brother, and half-brother. It was very much like a Dysfunctional Brady Bunch.

It's no wonder people didn't think we belonged together. My best friend disliked him so much that she almost refused to be in our wedding. She knew me and knew I was making a huge mistake. His friends didn't think he could ever settle down. I swear at our wedding everyone was shaking their heads, wondering what the heck we were doing.

So, here we are seventeen years later, more stable than most of them - in spite of our transient lifestyle. A friend asked me the other day how I could have known that he was the one. It's simple: He's my best friend. There was just a connection when we first met.

We have the same goals in life and share the same off-balance sense of humor. We are both very family oriented, me because that's how I grew up and him because that's not how he grew up. We both have the same "just shut-up and do it" attitude. Neither of us can tolerate stupidity, injustice, or laziness. On the flip side, he pays no attention to detail and I am very meticulous. He thinks fast on his feet and I need time to ponder things.

The bottom line: I am a better person when I am with him and he is a better person with me. We're just better together, even if "together" means halfway around the world from each other.

We each plan to celebrate our anniversary by eating cheesecake alone. How pathetic is that?

Thursday, April 22, 2004


(Ramblings for my sake, not necessarily of interest to anyone else....)

The "To Do" list grows longer each day. It seems like every time I check something off the list, two more things mysteriously appear at the bottom.

I did manage to accomplish two big things this week: I "interviewed" property managers for our house and I donated some furniture and household items to the domestic violence shelter.

So now my list looks something like this:
-Arrange for shipping of vehicle at government expense. Figure out the timeframe for shipping so it will be there when we arrive.
-Arrange for shipping second vehicle at our expense. This one will not go until just before we leave.
-Make appointment for doctor to check suspicious looking mole on my neck.
-Make appointment for the Blonde One.
-Before making appointments I need to find out who my PCM is. The one we were assigned to is no longer there and the freakin automated phone system at the base clinic doesn't let you make an appointment unless you can press the right number for your PCM. Messages left for the person who handles this are never returned.
-Make reservations at TLF in Hawaii. It's probably too late to get in there, but we're still waiting on a definite return date for the Hubster.
-Buy a refrigerator. The old one was donated to the shelter and we have been using the extra one in the garage. Cuts back on the snacking if you know you have to go all the way to the garage for a soda!
-Fix the hole Hubster put into the drywall on our kitchen plant shelves.
-Re-finish coffee table and end tables. Okay, this really doesn't sound urgent, but it drives me crazy every time I have to look at those tables that don't match our new furniture. I'm either going to strip them and bleach them or strip them, paint them, then tile the tops.
-The Diva needs new running shoes.
-Little Guy needs his 3-month pictures taken.
-Research the rental market and resale market in Hawaii. Check out the schools so we can have a back-up plan when we choose a neighborhood. Look up the mortgage interest rates at NFCU, USAA and a few other places. Go through our budget and see what we can afford to spend on a house.
-Work the bugs out of my business website so I can be ready to go after we get settled.
-Mail long overdue baby gifts to Baby Audrey and Baby Elliot (I'm sorry, but that name will never grow on me!).

People I owe phone calls:
-My mom and dad
-MIL and FIL
-My oldest brother
-My friend Jo from high school who has gotten my answering machine two times this month.
-John, the Snowman
-My Okie friend Glenna.

People I owe e-mails:
-Ina the Sex Toy Goddess
-Rick and Steph
-Crazy Iris
-Adran, my idol
-Heck, if I know you I probably owe you an e-mail!!!

The Wildcard is sick and the Little Guy hasn't pooped in two days (he's a bit ornery!), so things are a bit complicated.

On that note, I'm going to get some sleep.

Monday, April 12, 2004

Back to Reality

My houseguests have gone home. As much as I loved having family visit, I really love having my house to myself.

Tonight the Diva and I enjoyed a night of Shallow TV. We flipped back and forth between the Miss USA Pageant and the new Fox reality show, The Swan. I'm still not sure which show annoyed me more.

I remember watching Miss USA as I was growing up and the contestants always struck me as poised and articulate. I didn't see any of that tonight. Did they lower their standards or is that the best we have to offer? I thought I remember something about Donald Trump buying the rights to Miss USA (the pageant, not the individual...) - that may explain the dumbing-down of the contestants.

Take Miss Oklahoma, for example. We lived there before moving here and have great memories of the place (surprisingly enough!!), so the Diva and I were rooting for her. She is a beautiful girl and did well in the evening gown and swimsuit competitions and made it to the top five.

Then there was The Question.

During the live interview segment each contestant is asked one question, one surprisingly simple question. The questions were written by other contestants, and drawn from a hat.

Let me paraphrase here:

Host: Miss Oklahoma, your question is this: If you could have dinner with any one person tonight, who would you choose and what would you ask them?

Miss Okie: That's easy (giggle, giggle) Justin Timberlake. (giggle, giggle)

Host (trying to give her an "out:): Justin Timberlake? Really?

Miss Okie: (giggle, giggle) Sure. Justin Timberlake! (giggle, giggle)

Host: And what would you ask him?

Miss Okie: I'd ask him to teach me some dance moves. (giggle, giggle)

It was painful to watch.

Speaking of painful to watch...Has anyone seen the Fox reality show, The Swan? I saw the previews and was disgusted with the concept. They take a group of ordinary women and transform them (via plastic surgery, liposuction, therapy, etc.) from Ugly Ducklings into Swans worthy of a beauty pageant. In the end, one women is crowned The Swan.

I didn't see the show last week, and I missed the beginning this week, but the way I understood it is that each week two women undergo their "transformation". They aren't allowed access to a mirror for three months during the process, and near the end of the show they see their 'new' selves for the first time.

It wouldn't be so bad if it ended there.

You see, while these women are being re-constructed and counseled they are also competing. Tonight the women received liposuction, tummy tucks, breast implants, nose jobs, therapy for failed marriages and low self-esteem, and weeks of fitness training and dieting help. All to make them into Swans and lift their self-esteem.

At the end of the show, one woman is chosen to go on to the pageant, while the other is eliminated. Eliminated, as in Even with all this work, you still aren't good enough for our silly pageant.

So much for self-esteem, eh?

My picture of the of my favorites from the Grand Canyon.

Sunday, April 04, 2004


Has it been a week already?

The Hubster was here and is gone again. As much as I loved having him here, a one-week visit is rough. It's impossible to cram everything into one week without neglecting someone. But I am not bitter.

Okay, maybe I am, but I'll get over it.

Right now I just want to crawl into a hole and be left alone, but I have guests coming and kids to take care of.